A Cancer Journey of Heartbreak, Love, Resilience and Hope

Dave and Me During the Last Week of Our Packing Up of the Family’s Summer Home

On Wednesday January 3rd, just as I was rolling off the couch from having been exhausted up to my teeth from the big Christmas rush on the mountain, I learned some news from my brother, David, that has forever changed our lives. 

I knew he was feeling sick since December 12th but I was so busy working as a ski instructor in Telluride at our peak time, that I couldn’t make any solid offers of assistance until the big holiday push had passed. I then suggested to drive up to Aspen and take care of him, do some cooking and shopping and provide whatever assistance I could to help him get back on his feet. Little did I know how serious it was. Little did I know what was brewing inside of him would be the dreaded “big C.” 

Pay attention:  This is how quickly cancer can take hold and how important it is to mobilize yourself to figure it out. It is happening to so many people that we all have to have some measure of preparation and most of all, a keen awareness that doctors can’t always get it right. I hope that my story will provide that for you. This is also a tale of how people respond to a cancer diagnosis:  some show up big time to help while others use it as an opportunity to further their own agendas. 

Here’s my texting exchange with my brother from that day.

Dave:

B …that is a very generous offer, but I think I will continue to be able to manage. If I was really in need, I would gracious ly accept. Take advantage of your time off to get rested and take care of your own accumulated work load😊 

Me:

OK, keep it in mind. Maybe we should find out if you’re contagious first. But know that aside from a 5-hour drive, I could easily drop in to provide some assistance. Please let me know how it goes at the doctor’s today!

Dave:

Will do

B…still at the throat Dr…not good news…he thinks I have cancer and wants to do a biopsy Friday…so if your offer still holds to come up, I will graciously accept…fill mom in so I can save a step

Of course I left for Aspen the next day. I stayed ten days that first trip, came back to Telluride to work and regroup twice for a few days, then headed out again, first on a one-week and then on a two-week trip, crisscrossing our vast state of Colorado to see doctors and accompany David to medical procedures in Glenwood Springs, Grand Junction and Denver. For over a month, I assumed the role of my brother’s health advocate. The fact that he wasn’t able to talk very well underscored my role; I became his voice both literally and figuratively. I became a velvet pit bull of sorts sweet-talking our way into hard-to-obtain doctor’s appointments, asking question after question about the diagnosis, treatments and cure rates as I gathered information from every imaginable source including the many pamphlets handed out to us at the hospitals, my note taking and recordings of every doctor’s appointment, the internet, friends in and out of the medical profession, total strangers that had been through similar experiences–it all was important in attempting to make sense of my brother David’s Stage 4A diagnosis of laryngeal cancer. 

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